Who am I to you?
by PrincessRachel13
Summary: This takes place after 4.10 - Suspicious Minds, following the Alex "mind-wipe". Kara is struggling with the realization that her sister doesn't know her secret.


Kara hadn't been able to sleep — wasn't able to shut off her thoughts, tamp down the ache and worry threatening to consume her. She was pacing around her loft when she suddenly found herself outside Alex's door in a moment of spontaneous longing. The lights on either side of the door cast a long, dark silhouette across the carpet. She looked down upon it as she quietly rapped against the door. It took a few minutes before she heard movement and a soft groan. Kara's heart reflexively sped up and her hand lifted to re-adjust her glasses along the bridge of her nose.

"Who's there?" Alex's voice was low and groggy but it hit Kara's ears loud and clear as if no barriers stood between them.

"It's... Kara." Her heart was physically aching and the words tumbled out thick with emotion.

Alex's pace quickened. "Kara?" The door flung open, worry lines already creasing her face. "What's wrong?"

Kara bit down hard on her lip but she couldn't feel it. She cast her eyes down at Alex's bare feet as the hall light spilled into the dark apartment. It was only then she realized the day had not yet broken.

"I'm sorry... it's late. I didn't realize..."

Alex shook her head, yawning and ushered Kara inside. She reached to flip on the overhead light but seemed to think better of it, instead walking over to turn on the lamp — a soft light spread through the apartment. "What's wrong?" she repeated.

Kara hesitated, wracking her mind for a plausible explanation for her presence there. She glanced at the microwave — it was four o'clock in the morning.

"Um... I don't feel well." _It wasn't wrong_. Alex instinctively reached a hand out to press against her sister's forehead. _It was __**so**__ wrong_. Kara could feel the emotion climbing up from her gut.

Alex retracted her hand. "You don't feel warm."

But Kara quickly closed the distance and wrapped her arms around her sister, a little too forcefully as a soft grunt escaped Alex's pursed lips.

"Hey, it's okay. Whatever it is, I'm here." Alex soothingly rubbed her hand up and down Kara's back, pulling her closer into her embrace.

Wetness began to gather in Kara's eyes — she blinked rapidly to quell it. Her chin briefly nuzzled into Alex's shoulder before she heaved a shallow breath and slowly pulled away.

"I was having trouble sleeping." _It wasn't wrong_.

Alex drew her lips up into a soft smile. _Knowing smile?_ Her hand extended out and encircled Kara's elbow, gently guiding her to the couch. "Sit. I'll get us some tea."

Kara nodded, watching as Alex retreated into the kitchen. Alex stretched her arm towards the stove, grasping the tea kettle and eliciting a soft pop from her shoulder as she pulled it towards her. Her free hand absentmindedly brushed some hair from her forehead.

Kara's gaze continued to follow her as she moved about the kitchen. She tried focusing on her breathing, tried relaxing into her surroundings, take comfort in her sister's presence but she couldn't stop thinking — _Alex doesn't know anymore_. _Alex doesn't know I'm Supergirl. Alex doesn't __**know**__ me._

Alex padded back to the couch with a steaming mug in each hand. Kara looked up expectantly, not paying much mind and wrapped her whole hand around the mug.

"Careful," Alex exclaimed. "It's very hot."

"Right," Kara replied quickly, switching hands and grasping the mug by the handle instead.

"So," Alex began, settling down beside her. She reached out with her free hand to pat Kara's knee. "Talk to me," she said softly.

Kara drew her feet up on the couch and reached for a pillow to pull into her lap. She didn't want to meet her eyes, didn't want to lie, so she didn't. "I just... I had a bad day and... I needed to see my sister. I'm sorry I woke you up."

Alex shook her head slightly. "You don't have to apologize, Kara." She sensed her sister wasn't keen on elaborating just yet so Alex scooted closer and wrapped her free arm around her shoulders, pulling Kara against her side. "Just relax," Alex sighed.

And she did. _Deep breath... 1... 2... 3..._

"I was awake too," Alex continued. Her eyes scrunched together and she winced.

Kara drew back eyeing her suspiciously. "Why? Are you ok?"

Alex brought her hand up to just above her eyes, pinching the skin together. A bluish tinge had bloomed around her knuckles. "I just have a headache. It's not a big deal."

Alarm bells sounded off in Kara's head. _Was this normal? _"Alex, you should lay down."

"No, no, I'm fine," she replied, waving her hand dismissively through the air. But her eyes were still creased and a sudden tiredness shown heavy through her face.

"You're not fine." _What did I let you do?... _"Please, go lay down. I'll rest on your couch if that's okay."

Alex scoffed. "Of course it's okay, you goober. I'm not letting you _go_." Kara smiled through the pain, feeling as if someone was dragging an ice cream scoop through her heart.

"But fine, I'll go lay down." She took one final sip of her tea and deposited the mug onto the coffee table.

Kara stood up with her and followed her to the bed. "You don't have to tuck me in."

"I want to. You always take care of me."

"Well, I'm your big sister." She drew back the sheets and gingerly eased herself onto the bed. "But you came here needing me and now you're putting me to bed."

"I love you, Alex," she said matter-of-factly.

Alex's hand reached up to hook through her sister's. Her face was again laced with worry. "Are you sure you're okay? I'm listening... if you want to talk."

Kara grasped her hand more firmly in her own until Alex winced and she dropped it. "I'm sorry," she tried to amend. That was twice now she was not in control of her strength.

"No, no. It's not you. I just knocked my hand on something." She looked slightly confused.

_Yeah, Haley's face._

Alex pulled down the covers. "Come here. Let's commiserate together. This is a lot more comfortable than the couch."

Kara beamed feeling as if that was the first time she'd truly smiled all day. She quickly slid in beside her and yanked the bedding up around them.

Alex rolled onto her side and pressed a kiss to the side of her sister's head. "Do you want to talk now?"

"No, I'm okay. Just being here with you is enough."

Alex let her head fall against Kara's. "Goodnight, Kara."

"Goodnight, Alex," she whispered. Her eyes eventually started to droop. Alex's breathing had slowed, her heart beat getting softer.

Her own heart had finally settled down, had stopped fluttering wildly... as long as she still had her sister.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading! It's been a very long time since I wrote a fanfic, but couldn't escape the pull of the Danvers Sisters. Please let me know what you think. I would like to continue the story if people are interested but I also know I have a bad habit of starting but never finishing things... so no promises — I think I left it in a place where it can also standalone as a one-shot. - Jess


End file.
